Having a bad week :(

So this week is totally sucking already. I miss him more and more as the days go by. They never seem to pass quick enough. I laid in bed crying for a few hours this morning because I missed him getting online last night. I can't seem to shake the tears today...I tear up just thinking about him. This week is sucking hardcore...but! I will not let it break me! Deployments either make you or break you...and I won't be the one that gets broken! {And he better not either!!} LOL!
It's amazing to me how much I've changed in the past two years. I use to be the person to not give a fk about fitting in with other wives or how I treated people. Not once did I ever picture myself going through a deployment or being engaged to the man of my dreams. I never wore pink...I tried to wear black, white, or grey only.
Now, I'm more in love that I ever thought I'd be. I've been going strong through this deployment {with the helping words of great friends..i.e. Aley, Amy, and Farrah}, I'm about to get married to the most amazing man in the entire universe, I'm wearing pink, and trying to get along with everyone. I feel more focused that I ever have before. I truly love my fiance and would do anything to spend the rest of my life with him.
So another thing I wanna get off my mind, trust. It's a huge issue for alot of people. I'd like to think that my fiance and I trust each other completely. However I know it is hard for him not to worry about me. As I've said I've changed alot in the past 2 years...more so in the past year. He always asks me how I'm doing, and I'm honest with him and I tell him I'm ok. Which translates to I'm not breaking, however, I'm not amazing. It means I'm still learning to deal with this deployment and every obstacle that is being thrown my way. I means I wish he could box himself up and mail the box to me...so that I would be amazing and everything would be perfect. LOL! I think it's funny that I have to describe what ok means to me...but, we all have our own different feelings and opinions.
Well, I'm done boring everyone for a while...I might blog later today....who knows. If you read this and made it all the way through without falling asleep...get yourself a cookie! You deserve it!!

I love you Henry!
xoxo